I wrote a paragraph describing PNU building.
The building's facade was painted in subdued yellow. We also saw the year 1901 on its top which was the time it was being established. There were a few people inside the university. We saw different images of PNU in its different angles, enclosed in a glass frame. There was also a large monitor which shows famous people who had made significant contributions to the university. On its right side was a corridor that leads to different rooms. On the other side was a stairway used to go to the upper floor. We walked to the direction of the Admission Office. In front of it are bulletin boards which display information for both graduate and undergraduate students. We asked questions to the staffs inside the Admission Office. We inquired for the requirements needed to submit if we would be going to enrol for a Master's Degree. It was already lunch time when we finished. We thought we could have lunch at Jollibee but it was crowded. We instead took our lunch at MCDO.
Friends Note:
You are so hardworking. I wish I could as "on-the-ball" as you are. I'll make my corrections in uppercase so that it is easier for you to find them. If necessary, I'll add some comments.
The building's facade was painted in subdued yellow.
THE BUILDING'S FACADE WAS PAINTED SUBDUED YELLOW. It is not necessary to use "in".
We also saw the year 1901 on its top which was the time it was being established.
THE DIGITS (or NUMBER) 1901 WAS PAINTED NEAR THE TOP OF THE BUILDING, INDICATING THE YEAR IT WAS ESTABLISHED. Note that you don't say "was being established", but just "was established". As I explained for the previous essay that you sent me, the phrase "being established" means "in the process of establishing", whereas what you wanted to convey was simply that it was established (as a single act). So, the word "being" is not needed.
There were a few people inside the university. We saw different images of PNU in its different angles, enclosed in a glass frame.
WE SAW IMAGES (if these images are photos, then it would be better to just use "photographs" instead of "images") OF PNU AT DIFFERENT ANGLES. You are a little unclear here : I'm not sure what you mean by "enclosed in a glass frame". Are all the images in 1 big glass frame, or is each image in its own individual glass frame ? You should make this clear by adding "The photos were enclosed in a single, large glass frame/panel" or "The photos were individually framed".
There was also a large monitor which shows famous people who had made significant contributions to the university. On its right side was a corridor that leads to different rooms.
ON ITS RIGHT WAS A CORRIDER THAT LED TO DIFFERENT ROOMS. Since you used "was", you should use "led" instead of "leads".
On the other side was a stairway used to go to the upper floor.
ON THE OTHER SIDE WAS A STAIRWAY TO THE UPPER FLOORS. It is unnecessary, but not incorrect, to include the phrase "used to go", since it is obvious that stairs are meant for that purpose. You could however, also say "... WAS A STAIRWAY LEADING TO THE UPPER FLOORS" or "... WAS A STAIRWAY THAT LED TO THE UPPER FLOORS".
We walked to the direction of the Admission Office.
WE WALKED IN THE DIRECTION OF THE ADMISSION OFFICE. or
WE WALKED TOWARDS THE ADMISSION OFFICE.
In front of it are bulletin boards which display information for both graduate and undergraduate students.
WHEN WE ARRIVED, WE SAW/NOTED/NOTICED THAT THERE WERE BULLETING BOARDS IN FRONT OF THE ADMISSION OFFICE WHICH DISPLAYED INFORMATION FOR GRADUATE AND UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS. I have added the phrase "WHEN WE ARRIVED" to fill in a gap between the previous sentence and the current one. In the previous sentence, you were just walking towards the admission office. So for continuity, you should explain that you have arrived before you start describing what you saw there.
We asked questions to the staffs inside the Admission Office.
WE MADE SOME ENQUIRIES AT THE ADMISSION OFFICE.
We inquired for the requirements needed to submit if we would be going to enrol for a Master's Degree.
WE INQUIRED/ASKED/QUERIED ABOUT THE REQUIREMENTS FOR ENROLLMENT IN A MASTER'S PROGRAMME.
It was already lunch time when we finished. We thought we could have lunch at Jollibee but it was crowded. We instead took our lunch at MCDO.
INSTEAD, WE TOOK OUR LUNCH AT MCDO, or WE TOOK OUR LUNCH AT MCDO INSTEAD. Your sentence is actually syntactically correct, but is more common to use "instead" at the front or end of the sentence.
- Chriszzz from Singapore
The building's facade was painted in subdued yellow. We also saw the year 1901 on its top which was the year it was established. There were a few people inside the university. We saw different images of PNU in its different angles, enclosed in a glass frame. There was also a large monitor which showed (if you will use "there was" then you have to use "showed" both being past) famous people who had made significant contributions to the university. On its right side was a corridor that led (keep in the past) to different rooms. On the other side was a stairway used to go to the upper floor. We walked in the direction of the Admission Office. In front of it are bulletin boards which display information for both graduate and undergraduate students. We asked questions to the staff (alredy plural) inside the Admission Office. We inquired about the requirements needed to submit if we would be going to enrol for a Master's Degree. It was already lunch time when we finished. We thought we could have lunch at Jollibee but it was crowded. Instead, We took our lunch at MCDO (or we took our lunch at MCDO instead.)
- bikoljoe from Philippines
Very good but a few things need changing :
...ina subdued shade of yellow.
....which was the time it was established.
We saw different images of PNU taken from different angles enclosed in a glass case.
...was a corridor that led to different rooms.
We walked in the direction.....
In the front of it were bulletin boards which displayed information......
We asked questions of the staff......
We inquired about the submission requirments for a Masters Degree.
- Brian from Australia
The building's facade was painted in subdued yellow. We also saw the year 1901 on its top which was the time it was being established. There were a few people inside the university. We saw different images of PNU in its different angles, enclosed in a glass frame. There was also a large monitor which shows famous people who had made significant contributions to the university. On its right side was a corridor that leads to different rooms. On the other side was a stairway used to go to the upper floor. We walked to the direction of the Admission Office. In front of it are bulletin boards which display information for both graduate and undergraduate students. We asked questions to the staffs inside the Admission Office. We inquired for the requirements needed to submit if we would be going to enrol for a Master's Degree. It was already lunch time when we finished. We thought we could have lunch at Jollibee but it was crowded. We instead took our lunch at MCDO.
Friends Note:
You are so hardworking. I wish I could as "on-the-ball" as you are. I'll make my corrections in uppercase so that it is easier for you to find them. If necessary, I'll add some comments.
The building's facade was painted in subdued yellow.
THE BUILDING'S FACADE WAS PAINTED SUBDUED YELLOW. It is not necessary to use "in".
We also saw the year 1901 on its top which was the time it was being established.
THE DIGITS (or NUMBER) 1901 WAS PAINTED NEAR THE TOP OF THE BUILDING, INDICATING THE YEAR IT WAS ESTABLISHED. Note that you don't say "was being established", but just "was established". As I explained for the previous essay that you sent me, the phrase "being established" means "in the process of establishing", whereas what you wanted to convey was simply that it was established (as a single act). So, the word "being" is not needed.
There were a few people inside the university. We saw different images of PNU in its different angles, enclosed in a glass frame.
WE SAW IMAGES (if these images are photos, then it would be better to just use "photographs" instead of "images") OF PNU AT DIFFERENT ANGLES. You are a little unclear here : I'm not sure what you mean by "enclosed in a glass frame". Are all the images in 1 big glass frame, or is each image in its own individual glass frame ? You should make this clear by adding "The photos were enclosed in a single, large glass frame/panel" or "The photos were individually framed".
There was also a large monitor which shows famous people who had made significant contributions to the university. On its right side was a corridor that leads to different rooms.
ON ITS RIGHT WAS A CORRIDER THAT LED TO DIFFERENT ROOMS. Since you used "was", you should use "led" instead of "leads".
On the other side was a stairway used to go to the upper floor.
ON THE OTHER SIDE WAS A STAIRWAY TO THE UPPER FLOORS. It is unnecessary, but not incorrect, to include the phrase "used to go", since it is obvious that stairs are meant for that purpose. You could however, also say "... WAS A STAIRWAY LEADING TO THE UPPER FLOORS" or "... WAS A STAIRWAY THAT LED TO THE UPPER FLOORS".
We walked to the direction of the Admission Office.
WE WALKED IN THE DIRECTION OF THE ADMISSION OFFICE. or
WE WALKED TOWARDS THE ADMISSION OFFICE.
In front of it are bulletin boards which display information for both graduate and undergraduate students.
WHEN WE ARRIVED, WE SAW/NOTED/NOTICED THAT THERE WERE BULLETING BOARDS IN FRONT OF THE ADMISSION OFFICE WHICH DISPLAYED INFORMATION FOR GRADUATE AND UNDERGRADUATE STUDENTS. I have added the phrase "WHEN WE ARRIVED" to fill in a gap between the previous sentence and the current one. In the previous sentence, you were just walking towards the admission office. So for continuity, you should explain that you have arrived before you start describing what you saw there.
We asked questions to the staffs inside the Admission Office.
WE MADE SOME ENQUIRIES AT THE ADMISSION OFFICE.
We inquired for the requirements needed to submit if we would be going to enrol for a Master's Degree.
WE INQUIRED/ASKED/QUERIED ABOUT THE REQUIREMENTS FOR ENROLLMENT IN A MASTER'S PROGRAMME.
It was already lunch time when we finished. We thought we could have lunch at Jollibee but it was crowded. We instead took our lunch at MCDO.
INSTEAD, WE TOOK OUR LUNCH AT MCDO, or WE TOOK OUR LUNCH AT MCDO INSTEAD. Your sentence is actually syntactically correct, but is more common to use "instead" at the front or end of the sentence.
- Chriszzz from Singapore
The building's facade was painted in subdued yellow. We also saw the year 1901 on its top which was the year it was established. There were a few people inside the university. We saw different images of PNU in its different angles, enclosed in a glass frame. There was also a large monitor which showed (if you will use "there was" then you have to use "showed" both being past) famous people who had made significant contributions to the university. On its right side was a corridor that led (keep in the past) to different rooms. On the other side was a stairway used to go to the upper floor. We walked in the direction of the Admission Office. In front of it are bulletin boards which display information for both graduate and undergraduate students. We asked questions to the staff (alredy plural) inside the Admission Office. We inquired about the requirements needed to submit if we would be going to enrol for a Master's Degree. It was already lunch time when we finished. We thought we could have lunch at Jollibee but it was crowded. Instead, We took our lunch at MCDO (or we took our lunch at MCDO instead.)
- bikoljoe from Philippines
Very good but a few things need changing :
...ina subdued shade of yellow.
....which was the time it was established.
We saw different images of PNU taken from different angles enclosed in a glass case.
...was a corridor that led to different rooms.
We walked in the direction.....
In the front of it were bulletin boards which displayed information......
We asked questions of the staff......
We inquired about the submission requirments for a Masters Degree.
- Brian from Australia
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