I finished all the practices on Livemocha. I decided to create simple paragraphs so to practice my writing skills.
Here is what I wrote
I and my mother went to Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a blue, hard cap, white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was being used in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements for filing a retirement claim form. All people who got there sat on blue chairs aligned across inside the office. Some people slept, other chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turn. There is also a woman there who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
Revised:
_My mother and I_ went to _the_ Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a blue hard cap (could it be called a "helmet"?), _a clean white shirt with long sleeves_, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was being used* in case the need arises*. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements for filing a retirement claim form. All _of the_ people there sat on blue chairs aligned (or "that were lined up") across inside the office. Some people slept _and others_ chatted with the person beside them while waiting for their turn. There _was_ also a woman there who kept on fanning herself; I think it was because of the very hot weather.
Note: If you have a compound subject (like "my mother" and "I" are both doing something), the pronoun "I" will always come last. "My mother and I...", "She and I...", "The lion, the tiger and I..."
I took out the comma between blue and hard. It is a little tricky to know whether to put a comma in between two adjectives. Here's one method: try saying the sentence with the word "and" in between the two adjectives. Would it sound correct to say "He was wearing a blue and hard cap"? If the word "and" sounds good, then you would need a comma between the two adjectives. But if the word "and" sounds strange, then you would not use a comma between the adjectives. Another test is to try reversing the order of the adjectives. For example, do both of these sentences sound equally good: "She has long brown hair" and "She has brown long hair"? It may be tricky for a non-native speaker to know what "sounds correct"...but to a native speaker the first sentence sounds right and the second one sounds odd. That means that the adjectives are non-coordinate (not of equal status) and should not be reversed in order and therefore you will not need a comma between "long" and "brown." (A general guideline is that adjectives of size generally come first, followed by adjectives of age, color, then material.)
If you say the gun was "being used", I would think that he was actually shooting the gun. I would probably say instead, "On his waist was a gun which he always wore in case the need arose."
--Sonia from USA
Note: My mother and I went to the Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a blue, hard cap, white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was there in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements for filing a retirement claim form. All the people who got there sat on blue chairs aligned across inside the office. Some people slept, others chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turn. There was also a woman there who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
--Bikoljoe from Philippines
Note: MY mother AND I went to THE Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the ENTRANCE. He was wearing a blue, hard cap, A white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which COULD BE used in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were A few people. I helped my mother with THE requirements for filing UP a retirement claim form. EVERYBODY who got there sat on blue chairs aligned across the office. Some people slept, otherS chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turnS. There is also a woman who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
HEY ANNA. THE CORRECTIONS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. HOPE YOU CAN SPOT THEM.
--Ricky from Singapore
At the Social Security System Office
I and my mother went to Social Security System Office. It is just a small
>>My mother and I went to the Social Security System Office. It was just a small
air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a
>> ..... There was a guard at the entrance. ( or There was a guard at the door ).
blue, hard cap, white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was being used in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when
>> ... was a gun which was to be used when the need arises. ( "being used" means that the guard was actually using it when you saw him. But it is clear that the guard was not really using the gun ).
we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements
for filing a retirement claim form.
>> ... There were only a few people there. I helped my mother with her retirement claim form. ( Although it is not wrong to say "help my mother with her requirements...", it is a very odd way to express it ).
All people who got there sat on blue chairs
aligned across inside the office.
>> The people in the office sat on blue chairs arranged in rows.
Some people slept, other chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turn.
>> Some people slept ( or "napped" would be better ), others chatted with the persons beside them while waiting for their turn.
There is also a woman there who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
>> There was a woman who kept fanning herself ( it is acceptable use either "kept" or "kept on" in this case ), probably due to the very hot weather.
Here is what I wrote
I and my mother went to Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a blue, hard cap, white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was being used in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements for filing a retirement claim form. All people who got there sat on blue chairs aligned across inside the office. Some people slept, other chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turn. There is also a woman there who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
Revised:
_My mother and I_ went to _the_ Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a blue hard cap (could it be called a "helmet"?), _a clean white shirt with long sleeves_, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was being used* in case the need arises*. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements for filing a retirement claim form. All _of the_ people there sat on blue chairs aligned (or "that were lined up") across inside the office. Some people slept _and others_ chatted with the person beside them while waiting for their turn. There _was_ also a woman there who kept on fanning herself; I think it was because of the very hot weather.
Note: If you have a compound subject (like "my mother" and "I" are both doing something), the pronoun "I" will always come last. "My mother and I...", "She and I...", "The lion, the tiger and I..."
I took out the comma between blue and hard. It is a little tricky to know whether to put a comma in between two adjectives. Here's one method: try saying the sentence with the word "and" in between the two adjectives. Would it sound correct to say "He was wearing a blue and hard cap"? If the word "and" sounds good, then you would need a comma between the two adjectives. But if the word "and" sounds strange, then you would not use a comma between the adjectives. Another test is to try reversing the order of the adjectives. For example, do both of these sentences sound equally good: "She has long brown hair" and "She has brown long hair"? It may be tricky for a non-native speaker to know what "sounds correct"...but to a native speaker the first sentence sounds right and the second one sounds odd. That means that the adjectives are non-coordinate (not of equal status) and should not be reversed in order and therefore you will not need a comma between "long" and "brown." (A general guideline is that adjectives of size generally come first, followed by adjectives of age, color, then material.)
If you say the gun was "being used", I would think that he was actually shooting the gun. I would probably say instead, "On his waist was a gun which he always wore in case the need arose."
--Sonia from USA
Note: My mother and I went to the Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a blue, hard cap, white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was there in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements for filing a retirement claim form. All the people who got there sat on blue chairs aligned across inside the office. Some people slept, others chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turn. There was also a woman there who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
--Bikoljoe from Philippines
Note: MY mother AND I went to THE Social Security System Office. It is just a small air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the ENTRANCE. He was wearing a blue, hard cap, A white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which COULD BE used in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when we got there. There were A few people. I helped my mother with THE requirements for filing UP a retirement claim form. EVERYBODY who got there sat on blue chairs aligned across the office. Some people slept, otherS chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turnS. There is also a woman who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
HEY ANNA. THE CORRECTIONS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. HOPE YOU CAN SPOT THEM.
--Ricky from Singapore
At the Social Security System Office
I and my mother went to Social Security System Office. It is just a small
>>My mother and I went to the Social Security System Office. It was just a small
air-conditioned office. There was a guard at the entry door. He was wearing a
>> ..... There was a guard at the entrance. ( or There was a guard at the door ).
blue, hard cap, white and clean long sleeves, and dark blue pants. On his waist was a gun which was being used in case the need arises. It was still 7:30 when
>> ... was a gun which was to be used when the need arises. ( "being used" means that the guard was actually using it when you saw him. But it is clear that the guard was not really using the gun ).
we got there. There were few people. I helped my mother with her requirements
for filing a retirement claim form.
>> ... There were only a few people there. I helped my mother with her retirement claim form. ( Although it is not wrong to say "help my mother with her requirements...", it is a very odd way to express it ).
All people who got there sat on blue chairs
aligned across inside the office.
>> The people in the office sat on blue chairs arranged in rows.
Some people slept, other chatted with the person beside them, while waiting for their turn.
>> Some people slept ( or "napped" would be better ), others chatted with the persons beside them while waiting for their turn.
There is also a woman there who kept on fanning herself. I think it was because of the very hot weather.
>> There was a woman who kept fanning herself ( it is acceptable use either "kept" or "kept on" in this case ), probably due to the very hot weather.
- Chriszz from
I was confuse when to use a comma with a series of adjective and when it is okay not to use them. Here is what I researched on the internet:
Use a comma if the adjectives are equally important and give similar kinds of information.
Example: It was a cold, windy morning.
Don’t use a comma if the adjectives are not equally important or give different kinds of information.
Example: He was a clever young man.
Note:
To check if adjectives give similar kinds of information or not, put and between the adjectives. (It was a cold and windy morning.)
If adjectives give different kinds of information, the and between the adjectives doesn't sound right. (He was a clever and young man.)
Source: http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/writing/comma?06
Adjective Series
When is a list of adjectives considered a series? The best rule of thumb is to try putting the word “and” between the two adjectives. If it fits, then you can put a comma there instead. If it doesn’t, omit the comma. Here are a few examples:
The little old man lived in a brown log cabin.
The perky, energetic girl lived in a huge, luxurious house.
What’s the difference between these two sentences? First, look at the phrases “little old man” and “brown log cabin.” You wouldn’t normally say “the little and old man” or “the brown and log cabin,” so you would not put a comma between the two adjectives. On the other hand, you wouldn’t think twice about saying “The perky and energetic girl lived in a huge and luxurious house,” although it may sound a bit more concise without the extra conjunctions. Therefore, you can omit the “and”s and insert commas instead.
Source: http://www.brighthub.com/education/k-12/articles/36528.aspx
I was confuse when to use a comma with a series of adjective and when it is okay not to use them. Here is what I researched on the internet:
Use a comma if the adjectives are equally important and give similar kinds of information.
Example: It was a cold, windy morning.
Don’t use a comma if the adjectives are not equally important or give different kinds of information.
Example: He was a clever young man.
Note:
To check if adjectives give similar kinds of information or not, put and between the adjectives. (It was a cold and windy morning.)
If adjectives give different kinds of information, the and between the adjectives doesn't sound right. (He was a clever and young man.)
Source: http://www.ego4u.com/en/cram-up/writing/comma?06
Adjective Series
When is a list of adjectives considered a series? The best rule of thumb is to try putting the word “and” between the two adjectives. If it fits, then you can put a comma there instead. If it doesn’t, omit the comma. Here are a few examples:
The little old man lived in a brown log cabin.
The perky, energetic girl lived in a huge, luxurious house.
What’s the difference between these two sentences? First, look at the phrases “little old man” and “brown log cabin.” You wouldn’t normally say “the little and old man” or “the brown and log cabin,” so you would not put a comma between the two adjectives. On the other hand, you wouldn’t think twice about saying “The perky and energetic girl lived in a huge and luxurious house,” although it may sound a bit more concise without the extra conjunctions. Therefore, you can omit the “and”s and insert commas instead.
Source: http://www.brighthub.com/education/k-12/articles/36528.aspx
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